Things that make you go hmmm...

Warning: Not for those squeamish about bodily functions (that means you, Jeff!)

Alright, so we all know that I've been sick (and we're all probably a little sick ourselves, sick of hearing me talk about being sick!). The good news is that I seem to be getting better; I'm coughing less, my nose isn't plugged up much except at night (which is typical for me during the winter), fewer headaches, the muscle aches and fever are gone, etc, etc.
Now here's the part that has me (dare I say it?) worried...
Twice now I have sneezed blood. Not just a tiny little bit like you would normally see when your nostrils are irritated and not just something a nice shade of light pink (like the lipstick you used to wear when you were a teenager). No, this is soak-through-a-Kleenex bright red blood. Bloody nose, you say? I don't think so...I mean, I've never had one before and the few that I've seen always included said blood either slowly dripping or fastly (I know it's not a word but I don't care) gushing out of said nose. Mine has done neither. In fact you can't even tell there's anything at all going on unless I sneeze or blow my nose. It's only happened the two times and within a few minutes I'm back to the nice creamy off-white/clear snot I've grown to know and love but in that space of time I've saturated 2-4 pieces of tissue.

I told my friend Amy the other night that I'm broken and she needs to bring me back to the store for repairs (or to upgrade to a newer model). I am so seriously tired of all the health bullshit and if things don't get better soon I'm going back to the clinic and demanding they figure out wtf is wrong with me.
Maybe I should bring a shotgun so they know how serious I am...